sexypies asked: A guy is taking his girlfriend to prom. He waits in the ticket line for a really long time but gets them. He goes to rent a limo. The rental line is really long but he eventually does it. He goes to buy her flowers. The line at the florist is really long but eventually he gets the flowers. At prom, she asks him to go get punch. He goes to the refreshment table and there’s no punchline.

sorry:

OMFG



sarcastic-snowflake:

So every morning I get off the train and start my 20 minute walk to work, and there’s this guy who’s always like 3 steps ahead of me and always beats me to the street corner bc I get stopped by the light and he passes it. but today I was ahead of him for the first time and he RUNS in front of me, turns around and goes “I’ve been winning for 2 months now, can’t stop now, have a good day, see you tomorrow.”  tmrw I swear i’m wearing running shoes to work. 





I guess


—I disagree with you but ill let you have this one because I don’t feel like debating anymore with your simple ass (via monitormylife)


we live in a world where women are sexualized but can’t be sexual


—one of my late night thoughts (via masturbationdestination)


LUCAS AND HIS FUCKING LIP RING

weareonedirection3:

THAT
FUCKING
THING
ON
HIS
LIP
IS
SUCH
A
TURN
ON
SORRY LUKE GIRLS



every time you hurt me I apologized because I felt guilty for making you feel bad


I fkn did this tonight (via someonedrankmysoda)

Holy shit I could not relate to this more

(via clublillies)



dutchster:

i’m very sorry for making you aware of your own blinking at this moment



celesgami:

OKAY NO

EVERYONE TAKE THIS FUCKING QUIZ RIGHT NOW

IM LITERALLY ANGRY ABOUT HOW ACCURATE IT IS FUCK THIS THING ALL I DID WAS CLICK ON COLORS ??? HO W DOES I TKNOW FRICK



christmascockies:

i stopped caring when i was like 3



Maybe if I drink enough whiskey, it’ll stop tasting like broken promises.


—(194/365) by (DS)


You’re still my person, even if I’m not yours.


—Grey’s Anatomy (via connotativewords)


She was laughing even as we kissed and kissed again. There is no better taste than someone else’s laughter in your mouth.


—(via cl4yton)




floozys:

a thrilling story of hope, heartache and success 


CREDIT